Let me set the scene for you. It's 12:00 Tuesday. Isaac, Meagan and I had just walked in the door from a busy morning out on the town - Library story hour, then to work to write a check and print a report, then to our treasurer's house to get a second signature on the check, then to my friends house to pick her up for lunch and afternoon shopping. We had literally followed Lucas down the road on our way home, so we all had just basically walked in and dumped our coats off. We were in the process of determining what to eat for lunch when the phone rang.
As I'm in the habit of doing, I checked caller ID before I answered the phone. The Public School? Oh no, Sebastian must be sick or hurt again. I answered.
"Hi, Rebecca? This is Deanna from Sebastian's School. We had a message today that Friday in class, Sebastian exposed his bottom - you know, mooned - someone in his class."
Stop there.....WHAT!! That was TOTALLY not what I was expecting to hear. Immediately, my mind got a visual of that, and I just started laughing. I know that's not the 'responsible parent' thing to do, and I'm sure the lady on the other end of the phone was hoping I would react differently. But I couldn't help myself. It was funny! I mean, it's just so out-of-character; so unexpected. I tried. I tried to concentrate on what she was telling me, but I was concentrating harder on not laughing. The only thing that saved me was that I could hear a bit of a chuckle in her voice too, so I don't think she thought I was a totally off-the-charts-crazy mother.
Anyway, she said that, from what she could gather, he was mad at someone and in response, he pulled his pants down. She and the principal had a serious talk with him - her words were, 'We both sorta raked him over the coals' - and she said he hid his face in his shirt the whole time because he was so embarrassed to talk about it. Good - he should be embarrassed. There's a reason they are 'private' parts! Sheesh kid! They explained to him that anything that a bathing suit would cover is inappropriate to share with others.
The whole time I'm having this conversation, Lucas and Kim (my friend who was with us) were watching me with curious looks on their faces. They knew it was the school because I had read it out loud on caller ID. They had heard me start laughing. And they had heard bits and pieces of a rather odd and unexpected conversation. As I hung up the phone, I looked at them to explain, but I was completely overtaken with laughter. I think through my laughing I managed to say, "Sebastian mooned a kid." So they both started laughing hysterically too. OH, CHILD! What were you thinking?!
Well, like good parents are supposed to do, we had a chat with him when he got home from school. When I asked him if he had been in trouble recently at school, he told us about it right away. According to him, it wasn't because he was mad at someone. They were all just playing and having fun. He doesn't know why he did it. No one told him to. He just did. Who did he moon? A little girl, of all people - the little girl he has told us before that he likes and thinks is the prettiest girl in his class (we seriously need to work on his pick-up techniques!) That poor girl is going to have my son's butt as a memory for the rest of her life! That hardly seems fair to her! Again, WHAT were you thinking?!
After we talked for a minute, I asked him if he knew it was wrong. He said, "I do now." I asked him if he understands why it's wrong. He said no, he just knows because he got in trouble for it. So we talked a little about the appropriateness of our bodies. As punishment, he lost the privilege of going to wrestling practice last night. He also lost all forms of electronics for the evening. And he was given a strong warning that if anything of the sort EVER happens again, he will have much more severe consequences.
And I think to myself, Rebecca, welcome to the world of raising boys.