So this is a little random. And maybe it won't make any sense outside of my head. I know that sometimes I run that risk when I try to put my thoughts into words...sometimes my thoughts are more of an understanding than an ability to express an idea.
Today I realized how thankful I am for complexity. Odd? Maybe. But odd is me.
Again today, Dublin and I walked to the nature reserve, but we took a different path. We walked to the other side of the river, where there is nothing but wide open space, fields of overgrowth and underbrush and small trees and shrubs, bordered by forest that follows along the river. Beautiful. One of my favorite places. Especially on days like today when no one else is around.
We spent nearly an hour there, running through the long grass, trudging through the forest, and splashing in the edge of the water. It was quiet time to think while he chased leaves down stream and attempted to catch and eat as many grasshoppers as possible. Quiet time that doesn't come often for me anymore with the layers of things going on in daily life.
I felt really at odds standing in the middle of the forest. Just on the other side of the river is a paved walking path with well-kept medians that border nicely manicured laws that surround nice and tidy homes. And here I stand in the middle of the messiest, most unruly of surrounds, with vines growing every direction, trees fallen and decaying, and the ground absolutely covered in layers of mud and leaves and debris. There, dogs are kept on leashes and tightly controlled and held to human expectations. Here, they can be off-leash and run and play and do what dogs are meant to do. There, life is orderly and routine and scheduled. Here, there's no order, no routine, no schedule or obligation - only existing.
This contrast was just a spring board for a whole trail of thoughts that I'll spare you. The point is, I realized today, standing in the middle of the woods, that I am really thankful for complexities and contrasts and dualities that make up the human experience. Without it, how boring would life be? I'm just not the type of person that can keep everything neat and orderly - not physical things, and not in my mental and emotional being. There are a million layers and possibilities, and many of them are at odds with each other. And without them, I would be a totally different person. And I like them. I like the oddities and the contrasts. They give substance and context to what could otherwise be a mere passing of time.
So there you have it... blah blah blah... pardon the ramblings of my Stewart Smalley moment. Deep thoughts ended. Carry on. ;)