Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Bad with the Good

Unfortunately, sometimes we get reminders that in life, you really have to take the bad with the good. In all, I would definitely say there have been lots of good - very good - things that have come out of our move, even in the short time we've been here. There are, of course, people and things that I miss about living in Michigan, but I know in my head and in my heart that this has been a good move for us. However, last night, I was completely brought to tears. I sat down on Sebastian's bed beside him to talk to him about his gymnastics practice. He had not seemed to enjoy himself at all, and I wanted to talk to him about it... get his take on it. I confess, I was totally not expecting the conversation to take the turn that it did. He said, "I think it's just because I don't know any of those kids..." (long pause, choking up a bit) "and I don't feel like I belong." Then he rolled over in bed, wrapped his arms around me, and buried his face... he just cried. And cried. And hugged me for a really long time. "I miss it. I miss all of the people I knew in Michigan, and sometimes I just really want to go back there..." (another long pause as he thinks it through) "but I know it will get better... I hope it gets better soon."

Tell me, as a momma, HOW am I supposed to stay composed through that? I cried. I couldn't help it. My heart breaks when I think about it... that he is feeling that way... that I had no idea he was feeling that way... that we may very well end up putting him through it again in the next few years. Ouch, it hurts me to think of it.

I don't know what else to do but to keep talking to him about it. And to pray for him. Pray my butt of for him. And for me. And our family. So if you think of us, please also be praying for us - but especially for Sebastian and Isaac, as they are in this whole thing, but have relatively little say in the matter... and they have been so amazing about it all that I have, until yesterday, not even noticed that there was anything bothering either of them. *sigh*

Why is there hard stuff in life?

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