Are kids covered by the Lemon Law?

Because there's something not-quite-right about this little girl we have! Where do I start? Well, how about this for example: To her, closing her eyes for any amount of time exceeding two minutes constitutes a nap. So, she laid quietly in her bed for about 3 minutes today, and then decided she was DONE. Done - time to get up - no more sleeping - let's play - DONE!
And another thing...HOW I ask you, am I supposed to know what the heck she wants when every yes or no question I ask her gets a NO response, regardless of what she means. No is 'No' and yes is 'No.' That presents all kinds of parenting issues. That, coupled with the fact that she is quite easily frustrated, results in more than a few 'outbursts' on her part throughout the day. Like I said, BROKEN!
But, I do have proof that she does have some girlish interests (besides the boots, which I discussed before). The other day she actually played FOOD - which I admit is rather gender-neutral, but I'll take it. And, she DID name her baby doll - Monique (after a friend of Isaac & Sebastian's). So, I guess that's something. Okay, so maybe she's not ALL THE WAY broken, but I think I could get some kind of payoff... if only the Lemon Law applied to children...